Unclarity

So most of my posts have been about life altering decisions or the contemplation of current choices. So very cliche for someone my age whom is doing that ever so common "who am I?", "where am I going" daily questioning. Yet when I thought of my current unclarity, it was much different. I have been here before. I searched for some guidance or quotation from some respected author to possibly relate to, but I could not find one. Every word of wisdom was about loving one another and life commitments. But what about those times before that, when you're getting to know the person?  I'm in a place where everything is still all so new, but when does that end? I originally had believed it was wrong of me to wonder if there was going to be an expiration nevertheless when it would actually be. But when do couples start getting comfortable with one another and start losing their initial charm that they had originally put out? I see it similarly to what I imagine a peacock's life must be.... Go with me on this one.... Sure they lure you in with the shiny feathers all puffed and appealing, but what happens when they put the feathers down? Does the other peacock feel jipped they didn't really know what they were signing up for? Would they have even gone through the whole process if they had known what the other was to become? I guess I see myself as either side of this analogy. Especially with my circumstances having the one I care for at a distance, and having only met him for a few days, did I present myself in a way that is truest? And if he didn't will I be surprised later on? Essentially it all comes back to what ponders me most, when do the feathers come down? I'm so unfamiliar with dating in the recent years, especially after being hurt so badly in the past, I have essentially avoided it. Now yes, for some reasons that's on me and I was wrong either in the relationship and it wasn't right, or I chose to be single. But I had forgotten each stage of progression new couples go through. Why do we do this to ourselves? Nothing other than the attraction of possibly connecting with someone will twist your heart, head, and stomach into knots more. I have always thought to live life's rollarcoaster. Don't avoid the heights because you are afraid, for that is where the most fun is; Take the lows as they come because that signifies another high in your future. I'd rather feel extreme joy and happiness along with sadness and loss than never reaching those peaks.