Decisions

So i've been faced with the tough decision of what to do in life. I can either stay at the school I love now or transfer. Here lies the problem, I really do love my school now, and the things I'm learning in my major. However, my major here, Health Promotions and Exercise Science isn't really geared towards my ultimate goal of medical research. So to stay here I would need to either double major with chemistry and have biology as well as chemistry for minors or I can leave and become premed somewhere else. Now not to boost myself up but when I apply myself I'm pretty intelligent and can handle a pretty heavy course load. I guess it becomes a question of what will ultimately be best for me. Making this decision is so frightening to me, and I'm sure similarly plagues other students in my position. When did I grow up? When did I have to start planning out my life? Just 2 years ago I had every meal made for me, let alone every decision. So what changed? I know this is all part of the "maturing process" but I figured there would be some sort of catalyst. I'm not sure if that makes me sound immature or juvenile but I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. I don't know what I'm doing this Thursday but I already know where I want to be in 10 years, how on earth does that make sense? I suppose it will just all fall into place as it always does. 

disbelief

Sincerely frustrated with news I heard from last night. Not about what I have done, but about those who think they have a place to say anything at all. With that said, true friends would never intentionally hurt one another. And if they do, they're able to forgive one another without trying to bring their friend down too. If forgiveness hasn't happened yet, do say it has. I understand when I need to apologize, there is never a need to become malicious, because that is only an intentional emotion.

i'm sorry

If you're reading this, I'm sorry. This person will know who they are, and I hope they can understand where I am coming from. A simple I'm sorry can go so far. Taking the time to understand one another is crucial in any relationship whether it be friendship or on an intimate level, if one is unable to step away from any given situation all hope is lost. But what happens when an argument isn't about varying opinions but something else? How can caring for someone so much actually hurt a relationship?  I guess I've never known that feeling before so it comes off overbearing and judgmental when someone is just trying to express their love.

Compromise

In every relationship their must be some sort of sacrifice made on both ends to ultimately reap the benefits of the love you have for one another. However what happens when you feel as though it's one sided or uneven? When you feel as though you are the one giving your all?  Love to me will forever be ying and yang; a natural balance you find in your true soulmate. I'm truly in love with someone who I just don't feel is capable of doing so. Yet this is where the idea of compromise comes in. Maybe our ideas on life are different and maybe how we want to live them varies, but the bond is indescribable. So it seems that love is the ying to compromises yang. Knowing this it makes it worth all the effort one gives (even if it doesn't always seem like it).

move in

Roommates are all moved in. What a relief it was to meet Kelsey for the first time and hit it off instantly. I can't believe it's a new semester already and we're all back in action. I'm hoping my room this semester can be as fun and care free as the girls who are in it. I've never had much luck with housing... but this seems promising. Time to sit back, unpack, and share an L between us girls over wine to discuss our room :)

Distance

Distance is said to make the heart grow fonder yet more and more it seems to be ripping people apart. Growing up the only time anyone ever left my life was when a friend would move to another town and yeah that was sad but nothing in comparison to what I feel now. Now friends go to different schools in different states and it is ritualistic for them to come and go. Those who are truly friends keep in contact whether it be skype, or facebook but we have become accustomed to leaving these friends for months on end and just hope the next time we are home we can pick up right where we were. But what about those we care most for? Those we love, who come in and out of our lives because their lives are so far away, Why is leaving them that much harder? And a better question is how do you stay in love with that distance? Sometimes a computer image just isn't enough to suffice though you try to make it be. What's worse is those days when you're reminded of the distance, and that in all actuality you're alone until they return.  I'm not saying I need a man in my life every second, it's quiet the contrary actually. I'm extremely independent and always busy, but what's missing is the physical aspect. In the end it's a question of commitment, trust, compatibility, patience, and independence.

First try

So this is my first entry into my new blog. I wanted to try and start one this semester to help remember things, and to get everything out truthfully. There are a lot of different people in my life right now, and I have many experiences to come that will be fun to share. I want this to be an extremely candid blog, because if I'm not afraid to do it, I shouldn't be afraid to talk about whatever it may be. Anything I write will be honest and never meant to embarrass anyone. In case you haven't read my actual profile I'm still a student studying to be a medical researcher. I'm pretty intelligent and consider myself to be ambitious. With that said, I love to party. I have a few partners in crime at school as well as at home. I've made some mistakes along the way but I hope this blog will show who I really am through out this semester.